Thursday, May 19, 2011

I'm not good at remembering birthdays, either.....

This past Sunday marked the start of Ango (pronounced Ahn-JO).  I wish I could say that I brought in the intensive practice period in grand style, but this would be stretching the truth a bit  A rather LARGE bit actually.

At best, I engaged in mindful work that afternoon, preparing for a leadership retreat with my senior staff the next day.

I did enjoy Zazen for the first couple of evenings.  Maybe it was the novelty.  They were amazingly fast 30 minute sits; a real change from recent sittings that have seemed to last forever.  Not that I reached Kensho or anything.  The fact of the matter is that despite the fact that I immensely enjoyed my zazen, I sat facing the wall and counted to ten a bunch of times, then my timer went "bing!"  But something more is going on now, isn't it?

The reality is that I forgot to go to the opening ceremony at the Zen Center.  It's not a huge deal, but I should have gone.

This first week of Ango, I have been reflecting on 3 simple sentences that were written on the grease board the first time I took a class at the Center:

* Appreciate Everything
* Notice Everything
* Believe Nothing

If there ever was a welcome banner for me, this was is without a doubt.  It reached out and grabbed me like one of those evil ghost hands on Scooby-Doo.

I'm FAIRLY good at noticing everything, and an absolute master at believing nothing.  Actually, I'm only good at noticing what I want to notice, and I really suck at appreciating everything.  So I took at 24 hour period this past week and focused on appreciating things:


1. It was a beautiful day and I was healthy enough to enjoy it.
2. McDonalds got my breakfast order right.
3. I spent the day with my colleagues, and there was no drama.
4. I was able to Paddleboard this day.
5. I did not have to go into the office.
6. I introduced Kayaking to 5 people who had never done it.
7. I didn't get a ticket when the Lake Police checked us out for PFD's.
8. I have a wonderful family who I love dearly.

My next mission was to actually tell people how much I appreciate them, and that almost immediately went out the window the minute I walked into the office.  Yet, I should be completely ashamed, because I work with some brilliant people who work very hard to make me look good, and I don't do a good job at telling them how much I appreciate them.  I think this one may become a more long-term project.....

Classes started up again this week, and I think I'm finally getting into some "meat and potatoes".  This class is being led by the Abiding Teacher, who I am growing more and more fond of.  Maybe fond isn't the right word - respectful of is probably better.  What I like most about her is that she is human - what you see is what you get, and yet her actions reflect her beliefs in this whole Zen thing.  This class is on the Abhidhamma, kind of a DSM-IV of the Western Psych world.  The Manual is dry, but I think I'm going to actualy like this class the best of all that I have attended thus far.

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